Hey, I miss you again. It seems to me that these strange emotions are gradually growing and I just can't resist it. So, in order to speak out loud all of these screams inside, I have decided to complete this post in English since it is much easier to describe my feelings for you.
Hey, don't get me wrong. I still have things to do, I still go out everyday trying to find something new, something that I haven't experienced before. However, these feelings keep haunting me every night whenever I go to sleep and every morning whenever I wake up. I dearly miss you. I know that you're now so packed with your jobs, projects and your own private life that you rarely have time for anything else. So I step aside and don't bother you like before since I know my position now.
These feelings are killing me inside. I do not have the right to say this but I'm afraid of losing you. I have wasted two years thinking that I would not fall in love with anyone else until I have a clear depiction of my future, and then I found you. You've changed everything. You're something that is not involved in my plan, something unexpected. Then I lost you, like everyone else coming across my pitiful life. Funny, isn't it? I'm so terrified of losing someone who doesn't belong to me in the first place.
Well well what a nostalgic feeling! I suffered this two years ago. At that time the 17-year-old boy cried a lot, suffered a lot and eventually fell deep into depression. It took me a year to fully recover and continue my life. But now, I can't even cry. I want to cry, I surely do, but I can't. I'm pretty much like a time bomb, the only discrepancy is that I myself don't even know when it will explode. All the energy, the feelings just wait to come out, but I've managed to hold it back. I try so hard to keep all of these feelings for myself under the happy mask I've created, hoping that someday the situation will get better.
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